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Two Great Ways For A Guy To Ask A Girl Out

Updated on August 2, 2022
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Robert is a staff writer at Relationship Steps and writes about dating, relationships and personal development.

Remember: Don't be intimidated, the girl is always more nervous than you are!

We all have been this guy: too shy to get the words out and "just ask her" if she'd like to go for a coffee, movie, dinner, to a party, a formal date, whatever.

You are:

Too quiet.

Too uncertain.

Too damn shy!

These tips are based on just asking her and getting the heck out of the way. We're not standing around to get rejected ... either it's a yes or we can delay until later to get the right reply... which, of course, will be yes she wants to go with you. The whole interaction asking her out should take about 10 seconds. 12 seconds is too long. You have to be in and out like a bare hand in a hot pizza oven.

Here are tips of things to say that will get you started:

1. All you have to do is walk towards her and blurt out "Let's do this!" and hand her a note that says what you'd like to ask her to do. Nothing dirty or sexual, just a date type thing. One on side of the note is something like "Meet me for coffee at Java Joe's" and on the other side should be your email address. Once she has read the note, give her about 5 seconds to respond. If she does, great. It's probably going to be a yes. (The whole benefit of the note is to catch her off guard!) If she doesn't say anything within those 5 seconds, turn and walk away, stop after a couple of steps an say "Email me!" then keep walking.

Don't be a wussy and keep standing their waiting for her to reject you.... Make some tread marks and check your email.

2. The only people that say it with flowers are guys that are in trouble, married, or have too good a relationship with their florist. We like the blackjack combination to keep her guessing. Everyone has a deck of cards around, get it, you'll need it. Sort out the ace and the jack of spades. On the back of the ace write your note asking her out. Same as above, make sure your email address is on it and keep the talking to a minimum and get the hell out of there, fast. When you actually go out with her, that's when you give her the jack. She'll keep them forever, even if you don't end up dating. And if you do, you're a shoo-in to take her to Atlantic City or Reno or Las Vegas later in your relationship.

The reason for your speed is that it will keep her off guard. Not force a decision on her right away, and will allow you to plan your next move for when she contacts you back. By keeping the initial contact short you have less time to mess things up and come across as a dork, the person you think that you are, even if you aren't.

To sum up: asking a girl out is a fast, in and out, maneuver. Don't fret about shyness or nervousness, this technique is made to sidestep those issues.

And always remember: the more scared/nervous you are, she is always more scared/nervous.


This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2008 Robert Lee

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